Please join me in wishing a very Happy Birthday to our resident stunt reviewer, Chris Chamberlain! Chris is our “go-to” guy when a review looks particularly dangerous or bloody; he almost never says no.

Think I am kidding? Then you haven’t read his adventures with poison ivy…all in the name of a good review, of course.

In between the karaoke and beer drinking, Chris also finds time to do a few more traditional reviews. But what you all don’t generally get to see are the behind the scene quips that he is famous for; if nothing else, they keep us groaning. For your viewing pleasure, I have compiled a very small sampling:

1. When Clinton theoretically asked if it was time to start a sister site to Gear Diary called “Rant Diary”, Chris replied, “Is your father’s pissed-off sister your Raunt?”

2. When Wayne opined that the Nextel Cup would soon be the AT&T cup, Chris came up with this bit of trivia: “Of course I still miss the days when it was the Winston Cup and some drivers used to actually smoke in their cars while they drove.  David Pearson kept a small portion of his firewall uninsulated and exposed so he could light his cigarettes off it during races.”

3. When trying to find something nice to say about a product that was not functioning as expected, he came up with this: “It sure is…well molded.”

4. When sent the press release for the Whoomp! earphone enhancers from Comply, which he did eventually review, writing in his best Colenol Klink, he said: ““You VILL COMPLY and buy our hed-fonz!”

5. When Doug Goldring mentioned how much he loved (Spb’s) Mobile Shell, Chris replied “I’m more of an Exxon man, myself.”

6. When offered the chance to review yet another oddball item, he said, “I can’t guarantee a good review, but it’s just up my alley. You know, the alley that leads to CrazyTown.”

7. When Kerry beat him in response back to me after a request for a particular product’s reviewer, “Typed too slow. Snaked by the Wooster. (Woosted by the Snake?)”

8. When he saw pictures of Avah: “Hey, what’s my cat doing under your desk?!  His name is Homie and I’ve had him for 17+ years.  Please put him on a Southwest flight and send him home.”

He wasn’t kidding, either. Meet Homie…

…who really does bear a freaky resemblance to my Avah.

And then there was this gem…

9. “But for Ms. Judie I’d crawl a mile over broken glass to give her the last bite of my Krispy Krème.  (But not if it’s a jelly.  A man’s gotta have scruples.)”

I would never ask you to give up your jelly donut Chris. But I am going to ask you all to please wish Chris a very Happy Birthday. Things just wouldn’t be the same around here without him.