Order now, and the site guarantees Valentines Day arrival. Lonely? Wish there were a plastic doll that would talk nicely to you from desk while tethered via 4 foot USB cable? I don’t either but this may be perfect for the super geeky or super lonely. Select from either “lovely” or “cheeky” messages. The former sends you constant reinforcement during the day, while the later is decidedly NSFW (not safe for work) and guaranteed to be a little saucier. Requires a PC with Microsoft Windows XP and an Internet connection.

Mr/Ms Perfect USB Companion – $4.99