“For all the times you would rather stab someone in the eye than talk about 3G anything”

i-wood may be a perfect gift for someone special in your life.  Someone who is constantly checking their e-mail, twitter, or facebook account from their mobile device.  Someone, who, maybe, just doesn’t get the message — regardless of their data connection speed.  Afterall, can their current phone “survive a 1,000 foot drop?” Didn’t think so.  No contracts.  No pesky data plans.  No dropped calls.  Ever.

Who needs 3G speeds when you can have the very latest in 3B* technology? i-wood  is the all-in-one solution you have been looking for, and will “help you redefine your relationships with people by showing them how truly irritating they, and their portable devices, have become.”

Features include:

- Up to 1 million hours talk time.

- Rechargeable gyroscope battery

- Accelerometer sensor

- Proximity sensor

- Light sensor

- Infrared sensor

- Sensor for sensing sensors

- All Apps Are Free, including the Teleporter

(Just close your eyes, use the Teleporter, and before you know it you’ll be somewhere else… Some where far away from those jerks and their electronic crap.”)

Buy the i-wood 3B for $10.  Courtesy of  bookofjoe

*3B = 3 Bamboo