In the car I just can’t wait,
to pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it’s lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn’t know what to wear?
I’m too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can’t eat
- “First Date”, by Blink 182

So you’ve picked the online dating site or sites that you would like to join, you’ve created what you think is a fabulous profile, you’re getting “winks”, “nudges”, communication requests or emails from potential matches; you might have even shared a phone call with one or two of them, and you’re starting to think that maybe someone long-term could possibly be just around the corner. Maybe you are right, but then…maybe you shouldn’t be too hasty about pinning your hopes on the first potential who crafts a good email or talks a good game.

This portion of my online dating series is about setting expectations somewhere in the realistic realm and avoiding some of the pitfalls that can be encountered during the early days of online dating. All of this is, of course, assuming that you are serious about meeting someone “serious”, and assuming that you don’t luck into Prince (or Princess) Charming immediately.

I was given quite a bit of advice from Wayne when I started this Online Dating Site experiment, and I also received some good tips from eHarmony and tech guru Jon Westfall; I’ll pepper those nuggets throughout this writeup, and let you know about all the different ways that I either did or didn’t follow their wisdom.

Here are a few common overall rules for successful online dating. These rules aren’t absolute, people who break them can find success. Following the rules generally helps to stack the odds in your favor.

The whole purpose of online dating is to evaluate someone for a potential relationship (usually long term). This is done via meeting face to face. Until you meet someone you have no idea whether you’d be compatible for a long term relationship. Extended email, instant messenger and phone relationships - without meeting in person - don’t fall under the typical definition of online dating. A good rule of thumb is 3 to 6 email exchanges followed by one or two phone conversations - then meet face to face.

That’s right - you must get yourself out from behind the keyboard and in front of the person you are considering dating. And the sooner the better. - Wayne

It’s interesting to note that I was in absolutely no hurry to follow Wayne’s rules about spending time with anyone when I started this experiment, and make no mistake about it - it was just an experiment. I was gung-ho about email exchange, maybe even participating in a phone call or two, but I wanted to keep the actual meeting somewhere in the far-off and murky future. That’s probably because, if the truth be told, I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone just yet. There; I said it.

But it would seem that things never work out the way you plan, and it would also seem that when you aren’t really looking for something, you are more likely than ever to find it.

But I digress…

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